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You would have had a hard time convincing me in my twenties, but now, at 43, I know that not wanting to have sex doesn’t mean your girlfriend isn’t attracted to you. We have long days that leave us mentally and physically exhausted. Either way, an unreturned “I love you” doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is no longer interested in you. For others, it’s an often grasped sign of security.
The thing about “I love you” is it means different things to different people. But here’s the bottom line: Would you rather they say it back because they to?
So then it’s more about their patterns and comfort level than it is about you.
Then again, the first date may not have ignited fireworks.
Add to that our ego and fear of being vulnerable, and our dating experience or relationship can go south pretty quickly.
When you add to the mix texts, social media, dating apps, and emails, there is even more room to miscommunicate.
Without even talking to him or getting the facts, I made a decision to distance myself. There are so many reasons why a kiss doesn’t surface on a first date that has nothing to do with you or the chemistry.
The bottom line is everyone has their own comfort levels, and that may not be tied to how they feel about you. Not wanting to discuss an issue at the time you want means they just don’t care.It may be more of a slow burn; some people don’t feel the attraction until they're a few dates in. If they don’t show public affection, it means they’re embarrassed about being with you.So try not to put so much weight on when the kiss lands. Some people just aren’t comfortable showing affection in public. Or maybe it’s a cultural thing — being Asian, I have never seen my parents show any public affection. I’m sure part of it has to do with their relationship dynamic.So if the environment makes it awkward, they’re probably not going to force it.Or maybe kissing on the first date just isn’t an option for them; maybe they don’t kiss someone until the third or fourth date.
I have a friend who will engage in lightning-speed text banter for hours, then suddenly go dark and completely ignore a question I asked for days.