Professional black online dating
She says that we have to unlearn cultural lessons that have been reinforced through our lives — such as the idea that love comes to us.“I believe, culturally, we’ve been taught from all the Disney movies, all the chick flicks (even in ‘Girls Trip’), the woman ends up with a man, and she didn’t have to do anything,” Adams-Roberts said.
“We’ve been taught that we don’t have to do anything. So it feels weird to have to put in effort.” But when finding love is a priority, strategic effort is needed, she said.
“I think we hold ourselves back, and I think we need to be open, get out of your comfort zone.
If you want something different, do something different.”Related: Dating while black: Not enough black men?
“The men who find women in their 40s attractive often are a little older, and those women don’t want those men, and the younger women don’t want the 40-year-old men.”As a matchmaker and relationship expert, Adams-Roberts has built a career on helping people explore and question who they are attracted to.
One of her methods: informing singles that lists of expectations should be thrown out in favor of blueprints with preferences and values that are negotiable and non-negotiable.
He met his ex-wife online and continues to use apps to connect with women. A 2014 blog post written by Ok Cupid co-founder Christian Rudder explains that, based on millions of user interactions, nonblack men found black women to be less attractive than those of other races.
He says, “It’s harder to find that because a lot of women still play games.” Now his mindset is: “If it happens, it happens.”Ventura, Calif.-based dating coach Dr.
Aesha Adams-Roberts has heard all of these concerns in dealing with her clients, mostly professional black women.“It feels like men in their 40s and women in their 40s have a hard time connecting with each other and finding each other,” she said.
”There are many phrases that sum up what it means to get older with style, but is there a phrase for dating over 40?
Many say there are common, cultural threads, and we’re here to tease them out. The following is the fourth of eight in this online series.“Forty is the new 30!