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Hence, I’m frequently singled out by others for my accomplishments and for being a driven and “fearless” person.
Despite people lauding me from a place of good intention, I would feel mixed about being such a “strong” person (read: woman).
I felt sad and conflicted because it seemed that I was making myself increasingly unappealing to men by virtue of every step I took in my career and growth.For a long time, my biggest struggle was that by being so “strong”, “powerful”, and what have you, I would be unfeminine.For while I’m driven, passionate about achieving success and mildly accomplished in my own right, these factors are considered masculine, “yang” (as in yin-yang) qualities, and are not necessarily things that men look for when considering a romantic prospect. This is especially the case in Asia, where males prefer to have female partners who are more easy-going and less opinionated. Some friends have gone as far as to tell me that I’m the smartest / most capable person they’ve ever met, which I think is the biggest compliment anyone can ever receive. I’ve constantly been described as “smart”, “intelligent”, “courageous”, “driven”, “powerful”, “strong”, “highly developed”, “capable”, “intellectual”, “career-driven”, and at times, “fearless”.